Honesty

Most alcoholics have lived in lies for the duration of their addiction..Most of became pretty good con artists along the way . It was pointed out to me that God already knew all my sins, that I was lying to myself. The burden of living a lie is a sure path to misery-the quicker I start to get honest, the quicker I recover.

TWENTYFOUR HOURS

Page 188, THe BIG BOOK, ANONYMOUS NUMBER THREE

The next question they asked was, “You can quit twenty-four hours,can’t you?”I said,”Sure,yes, anybody can do that, for twenty-four hours.” They said,”That’s what we are talking about. Just twenty-four hours at a time.” That sure did take a load off of my mind. Every time I’d start thinking about drinking , I would think of the long ,dry, years ahead without a having a drink; but the idea of twenty-four hours, that  it was up to me from then on, was a lot of help.

What a relief, forever is a long time. Today the craving and compulsion to drink have left me. But when I first got here I leaned on the twenty-four hour concept pretty hard.

SPIRITUAL GROWTH

I was told early on in the program I could quit growing anytime I wanted to. All I had to do was to be closed minded, dishonest, and unwilling. Sounds like my condition when I got here. Today I have found that all I have to do is keep seeking knowledge. God will take care of the rest.

ACCEPTANCE

When I got to AA this last time I was mad as hell! Anger pent up from years of holding grudges over things that didn’t matter. What insanity, a life driven by the compulsion to drink without regard to others. No wonder people recoil from us. A life run on self seeking and self propulsion – like the Big Book says we are always on collision course with someone or somebody. Then someone pointed out that I needed to learn how to accept things I have no control over. It took a while , but what a relief. I no longer have to be responsible for things I can’t change.

CLOSED MINDEDNESS

It never ceases to amaze me how closed minded I can be. Yesterday I went to work at deer camp and at lunch a hunting buddy gave me a piece of his beef jerky. Not wanting to hurt his feelings I took apiece and thought to my self -I’ll choke this down. Will wouldn’t you know, it was good and I liked it. So,now I been going around for about thirty years thinking I didn’t like beef jerky,robing myself of something that’s good. Well, I think this God of mine has a sense of humor and at times he chooses to show me how little I know. And I think that’s good.

LIVING IN THE MOMENT

I think for most of us it’s hard to stay in the moment . My daughter and I were talking about a family member who is getting on in age and who may need to go into assisted living. Naturally shes concerned , but maybe a little over the top about something that hasn’t happened yet. I couldn’t help but think – you don’t have to be alcoholic to have this problem.I suppose it’s good to be aware of things we will face in the future. By the same token we need not dwell on them if there’s nothing we can do about them now.

FAULT FINDING

I find that I need to be on constant alert with my character defect of judging others I was told early on in the program that if I found fault with a person , place or thing ,then something was usually wrong with me. I find it to be true, the Master was specific on his teaching on judging. He said that which we mete out will be mete back to us . For a long time I dinn’t understand this but today I do.

THE BIGGEST LIE

 For years I told family and friends to leave me alone. That I wasn’t hurting anybody but myself. What a big lie, the wake of destruction left in my path was pretty pathetic. My ole sponsor told me that it was like throwing a pebble in the lake. They leave many ripples that effect all around us- but most of us can’t grasp that while were still in active addiction.

REVENGE

Revenge is a character defect that the alcoholic must be rid of . Revenge or the desire to get even rots our souls – is truly a deep dark carcinoma of the mind -and can only lead to moore resentment. It ties us to the culprit with chains, and blocks the path to serenity and peace.

JOHN BIBB

Today we celebrate the life of John Bibb, 21, of Cortland, Alabama. John was shot in the back while returning to the half-way house where he lived in Anniston ,Alabama. John was a gentle, kind and loving young man with a great sense of humor. He will be missed by his family, friends and others in the recovery community. John was growing in his sobriety and spiritual walk. He is the brother of my wonderful son-in-law, Sloan Bibb,of Decatur, Alabama. May God’s mercy and grace be with John, his family, and the murderer who killed him.